Here at Researching Reform, we have our favourites when it comes to parenting experts and BBC and ITV Parenting Guru Sue Atkins is right at the top of our list. Her mantra that children spell ‘love’ T.I.M.E is as poignant now as it was when she first shared it with us several years ago, and we love her gentle and calm approach to parenting children.

Sue makes regular appearances on ITV, the BBC and Sky and is often quoted in the media on matters relating to children. Her website is packed with information and resources on parenting, but Sue’s work extends far beyond TV appearances and blogging.

Sharing her expertise with families, she offers bespoke coaching sessions as well as packages which focus on everything from helping children through divorce to developing their confidence, and exam success. She even has an audio CD on how to banish bickering between siblings…

Whether you want to catch the latest on what Sue’s been up to, or take advantage of the Freebies on offer (we particularly like the diaries), there’s plenty of inspiration on Sue’s site, and a reassuring feeling that you’re not navigating the perils of parenting alone.

For these reasons, and many more, Sue Atkins is one of our go-to experts and she’s also a super lovely lady, to boot.

As our debate in the House of Commons, on child abuse within a faith context is tomorrow, we thought we would share this lovely invitation we received from the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community of Carshalton, to be given a guided tour of Baitul Futuh, and to hear a short presentation entitled, ‘The Rights of Women in Islam’.

The event which is on 22nd November, from 4-6pm is open to women only, and welcomes all faiths and backgrounds.

The afternoon’s activities are focused on promoting peace and tolerance, as InterFaith week begins today.

As we go into preparation for our debate on issues which will touch upon Islam and its practice, we would like to thank the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community of Carshalton for their kind invitation and hope that the actions of a small few who use Islam to mitigate at best and vindicate at worst, the most abhorrent crimes within our communities and beyond, do not tarnish the majority who practice in peace and compassion.

Love for all, hatred for none. 

If you would like to attend, please send an email to the address in the flyer.

Promoted on Facebook this afternoon (so hot off the press), is this video short about a woman who was sexually abused by (we presume) her father, and who goes on to have a baby. She finally snaps after years of domestic violence, and if you don’t wish to know what happens next, don’t read on, just watch the film below.

If you do want the spoiler, the woman goes on to kill her abuser with a frying pan, and smothers her baby.

The video has been written and produced by an actor and doesn’t appear to be linked to any DV charity or organisation, but is rather just an attempt at portraying a complex and painful life scenario. Whilst the acting is a good effort, it doesn’t rock our world, and the narrative too long and not as powerful as it could be, the theme is worthy of attention, as any item which highlights domestic abuse should be.

For those of you who will, we know, feel aggrieved that there is yet another video, or news item, or charity supporting women and children of domestic violence and not one supporting men, may we just say this: take it up with the charities out there who are supposed to be highlighting violence against men in that context. The responsibility falls on their shoulders.

We came across The Little Book a couple of years ago and were astounded to discover a treasure trove of activities, information and engaging commentary for families and their children. And now we’re sharing it with you.

If you’re not familiar with The Little Book, it might just become your new best friend in the next five minutes.  Spanning several counties, including Berkshire, Surrey, Buckinghamshire and Oxfordshire, The Little Book offers tons of ideas on where to take your Mini Me’s, all beautifully and neatly organised on their online site. There’s even an on-site directory giving you links to party cakes, babysitters, brilliant days out and beyond….

And if you’re not sure about that new restaurant, or want to know if a venue is family friendly, then their Reviews section is your go-to page for all you need to know.

Being that time of year, The Little Book is something of a life saver if you’ve got kiddy twinks bouncing off the walls and tugging at your collar to take them out. There’s masses of fun to be had, with the book never disappointing for inspiration and new ways to keep the kids occupied. For Londoners, it can be a great way to get the kids out into the nearby countryside, or if you don’t want to leave the comforts of the city, the book also offers London-based entertainment for all the family.

If you want to get the goodies in real-time (there are meals out and other wonderful giveaways to be gotten), you can always follow this brilliant little book on Twitter or check out their Facebook page. And you can also subscribe to their super-fab newsletter if you’d like the bounty to come straight to your inbox 🙂

It’s also a great site for businesses, with wonderful advertising space on offer, inside a publication which is widely read. Many of the businesses advertising, including our very own Chameleon Copy, are small, family or parent-run businesses . No surprise, as the book is read by a lot of families. If you’d like to find out more about their advertising rates you can contact them here.

We’re big fans of The Little Book…. we dare you not to get hooked…..

British insurance company Aviva, has teamed up with international charity Railway Children, which helps children who have run away from home due to abuse or neglect, to help raise money to provide these children with the support they need.

Both websites tell us that every five minutes a child runs away from home in the UK. That’s over 100,00 children under the age of 16, every year. 

Aviva’s Awkward Conversations campaign aims to tackle the issues runaway children in Britain are dealing with and has pledged to give £2 to charity Railway Children, for every ‘conversation’ uploaded onto their site. So how does it work?

You simply upload an awkward or difficult conversation you’ve had with your child. If your conversation is chosen, Aviva will then donate £2 to Railway Children, to help them continue their work supporting children who’ve run away from home.

It’s a lovely idea, and aims to play on the notion that all children need someone to communicate with and to help them make sense of the world. At its heart, the campaign highlights how very important emotional support is for children, of all ages and in all contexts.

If you want to see what kinds of conversations people have sent in, you can check them out here.

She was Russian born, of Indian decent, a Sufi Muslim who studied at the Sorbonne and lived in Paris. When Noor Inayat Khan’s parents moved to London, she became an SOE agent in the Second World War. She never divulged one state secret under interrogation and fought so hard when she was initially caught, despite her quiet and shy demeanour, that she was classed as a highly dangerous prisoner.

Noor was, several times during the war, captured, detained, raped, tortured and then beaten savagely to death at Dachau. To add to the indignity of her treatment, she was finally shot in the back of the head.

Did she have blue eyes, blonde hair, attend midnight mass and have Norman ancestors? No, she fucking didn’t.

This is what British Values look like. So take a good look.

We just wanted to make a point. Yes, we know, something new and different for us.

You can read more about our British heroine, here. Well worth the read.

“Is it okay for me to feel this excited?” she asked, suddenly a little nervous.

“Yes,” I replied.

She looked unsure. “But… I’m getting a divorce. Shouldn’t I be just sad and upset?”

This conversation took place with a client recently. She had contacted me soon after her husband said that he wanted to end their marriage. She was shocked.

The first time she came to see me she was in a state of shock; feeling like the bottom had fallen out of her world. We worked over the coming weeks for her to accept the situation, gather herself and start to move forward gently into a new life.

A couple of months on, she was feeling better. The communication with her ex was going as well as could be expected. She was looking forward to living in a new flat, even though the prospect of moving out of their marital home felt stomach-churning. She was thinking about changing jobs. And she had several admirers courting her. She was enjoying flirting again.

She was in the middle of talking about a date that she was looking forward to, when she stopped mid-sentence, looked at me and asked nervously, ‘”Is it okay for me to be this excited?”

I see this a lot, especially from female clients. They worry that it’s unseemly to feel good about life when they are getting a divorce. If you find yourself worrying about that, you are not alone. The reason is this – the notion that divorce is a failure is so deeply rooted in our cultural mythology that people feel obliged to feel bad. They feel guilty about having positive emotions and experiences while getting a divorce.

The truth is that there will be plenty of opportunity to have negative emotions in the divorce process! So when you find yourself feeling excited about life, about starting over, about your newfound freedom – grab those moments with both hands and relish them like there’s no tomorrow. Talk about them with friends who will be supportive of your ‘unseemly’ excitement.

One of the keys to negotiating the divorce process in a healthy way is choosing which friends and family members you rely on for support. This is one of the issues I discuss in ‘First Steps to Dating After Divorce’.

Vena Ramphal is a romance and relationship mentor, teaching people how to create fulfilling love and sex lives. She has coached people through divorce since January 2008. You can view Vena’s website here, and catch her on Twitter at @VenaRamphal.

Vena Ramphal