A story in The Independent today looks at the growing number of men, women and children in the UK who want to revoke their adoptions, the experiences of some of these adoptees, and how this movement ties in with the movement asking for an apology for forced adoptions.
Th adoptees in the story say that adoption revocation is a human right, and they should be allowed in law to live within their chosen identity.
The piece offers information about a pioneering survey which has found that a staggering percentage of adoptees were abused, and many now wish to revoke their adoptions in order to heal from their childhoods.
There is also expert comment from family law barrister Naomi Wiseman, who explains the difficulties in revoking adoptions in England and Wales, and Professor Anna Gupta, who outlines the risks involved with adoption and why it is only suitable for a very small number of children.
You can read the story for free by registering with The Independent.
Rabz Tovey Rivers said:
Yeah it has to be a Human Right to re-identify back as your core identity if you need that after Adoption … Some of us were Adopted later and then renamed .. Sometimes the Adoptions were bad too… Some of us though really should have stayed with our moms or dads if the State had intervened properly with supports and aids ..Nowadays they are a bit too quick at taking people’s children away
Alas children have been seen as blank-slates and we are not at all .. Some of us knew who were really were and that came through every bit of identity dislocation that was thrown at us by Adopters and the socially approved game of fictionalising kids into infertile couple’s lives: “babies and children” re-distributed like goods .
Most of whom (Adopters) have no deep skills to deal with the pain we kids feel .. Even now I doubt the therapies offered for Adoptees under Vicky Ford MP’s Adoption Support Fund are truly healing ones and even ethical.. I mean we are dealing with knowingly using identity alteration as “care” .. It’s at core the opposite .. Its sumbsumation and mind-washing in soothing ideas and gestures .. That’s social mystification on a grand scale ..
Paul Brian Tovey is made clean at last in this article .. Washed in the awful truth and risen to become just a Birth Identity Self ..
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It’s the easiest option to remove children from their parents who are deemed unfit. The children rarely go to other family members as they have ties with the parents & that is seen as wrong. Everyone gets tarred with the same brush.
The options are foster care or adoption if the children are young enough, usually under two.
Adoptions are the cheaper option as the state doesn’t have to look after the children they have removed. A percentage fail almost at the outset & the children are tossed back into care, more damaged than before. Adoption is not for the needs of the child but rather the needs of the Adoptive parents, who cannot have children & desire a family & the needs of the government who simply want to cut costs, nothing altruistic.
Adoption fills a societal need but not a child’s need, who would rather stay with their family, even if they are flawed.
Most adoptions are detrimental to the children who become adopted but that’s ignored. Adoptions that were forced back in the day, that governments are falling over themselves apologising for are no different to what happens now. Adoption is still adoption & you cannot take away someone’s identity without them feeling as if part of them is missing. No amount of drugs, alcohol or any other substitutions will ever fill that need.
Why should it be any surprise that abuses happen to children who have been adopted? Adopters are not a special species, endowed with qualities that the birth parents don’t have. Adopters have just not experienced having children but they also don’t have any real connection to the child that, in general, a birth mother will have.
Foster carers are encouraged to become Special Guardians & the children are under Special Guardian Orders until they are 18 years. The foster carers accept this option as they look after the same child rather than a conveyor belt of children coming & going. It’s also frowned upon by Social Services if the foster carers don’t become Special Guardians, even if they don’t want that commitment which adoption by any other name.
We need to rethink child protection. It’s been tinkered with for decades but still hasn’t the right formula. The family & home is discarded automatically. The majority of parents need support to help them when in crisis so if that was given, less children would be taken into care. Abolish adoptions. Put the child’s needs first. It’s an overused mantra but whilst voiced often by professionals is rarely put into practise because child protection practices have a two pronged approach, foster care or adoption. The Great Reset gives the perfect opportunity to change.
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Ian Josephs said:
I am not against adoption. Adoption can be a wonderful thing ……. providing it is voluntary.For a baby abandoned by a mother and left on the church steps adoption is better than a “children’s home;
What is really wicked is “forced adoption” where the desperate paent opposed the adoption with all his/her force but loses out to social workers intent on filling up their “adoption scorecards” and oblivious to the misery of parents who have usually committed no crime but nevertheless will never see their child again and never if it is alive or dead.
FORCED ADOPTION SHOULD BE ABOLISHED ! …………….
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Quite rightly so, whether these children were taken by force or not. The child’s best interests are not always genuinely considered during proceedings, yet parents will still get told their little Tommy or Tilly has been asked where they would prefer to live elsewhere or with their mum and/or dad ‘allegedly’ because even though the parent/s should be holding the trump card here, that being they have ‘parental responsibility’ right up until an adoption order is made, it’s strange how the parent/s are not there to actually hear/first hand witness it same as when the parent/s get told their child no longer wishes to have contact which can occur through the parent/s being bribed through not signing their dreaded ‘Section 20’ or because the parent/s have made a formal complaint which by the way should not predujice the parent/s, but time and time again we hear that yes it does get used negatively against the parent/s still fighting their Case because not all these children are old enough/frasier competent to be able to speak up for themselves either anyway.
The fact the parent/s do still hold PR right up until an adoption order gets made (not an adoption decision under S 17 CA1989 which comes first) is another area being abused and the parent/s ought to still be able to be given their child’s information at just the adoption decision stage, with the child’s consent being sought first if they are around the age of 12/frasier competent because that’s the age they’re expected to be able to request their information re their data in their own right.
Lastly, parent/s need to be given copies at least of the ‘alleged’ adoption order because not all children have been getting officially adopted whose parent/s are misled to believe they have been and this site has seen it too.
This latter can’t be a mistake if a) records of adoption for the child are logged on the Council’s, Cafcass, Court’s, registry Office database b) ‘alleged’ adopter/s are given the chance to check the form first for errors and to raise it with the registry office/Court c) if it’s not corrected it causes problems with eg the child’s passport which then and I find this quite unbelievable d) the child/s identity can at at times and does get changed via ‘deed poll.’
What if fraud has already gone on, when it already seems so apparent?
Then another thing I’ve heard about is adopter/s or alleged adopter/s who feel upset that the parent/s have found them, getting the child’s name changed further via deed poll.
Hasn’t their identity already been interfered with enough?
All parent/s need to be sent the adoption order even if personal details are eradicated, because otherwise they simply cannot rely on their Council, Court or Cafcass to tell them the truth based on ‘their hearsay’
Their hearsay clearly is not reliable enough especially by the time the alleged adoptee grows older to learn from the ‘few’ parent/s who are entitled to apply for a copy of said child’s adoption order that there was never really an official record of said child being adopted on the adoption register AND it don’t necessarily just stop there.
In my opinion, to cover backs and mislead the parent/s even further, said parent/s could be sent one ‘that got made up?’ anyway.
But what’s forgotten is, the fact it’s ‘the CHILD’ who has mostly been deceived and misled from having their identity totally messed up when all this was meant to be in the child’s best interests.
I ask you, whose best interests is it really in, because it’s interesting just how many parent/s have gone on to discover double case/ghost files and what do you think is happening with them? Xxxxxxxx
Paul Brian Tovey said:
When you appear in front of a judge (I did aged 5 – 6) regarding your own Adoption order you can be standing there inside a state of long term shut down and just complying with whatever adaptive pressures are on you …Your life force kicks in at basic levels and keeps you compliant ..Nodding “yes” helps around adults ..Idiots..
If birth mom and dad went unstable (mine did) then the fear you have freezes your reactions and you cannot even scream for them… Off you go to infertiles who fantasis you are their child .. This kind of stressed shut down is incredible when it becomes a core part of your identity or dislocated senses of identity ..My god it causes flashbacks and pain ..
You have no idea as a simple child that the Adult world around is so damned out of touch and abusive by default .. “It” does not feel “you” either..It’s full of clevered up people who are emotionally ignorant of depths of feelings and core formation ..
Adoptees become an idea of a child to fit other’s agenda’s … Courts , broken parents , Adopters and one saving grace finally never happens and reaches into your heart . What is that you ask ?
It is care and empathic maternality .. Love .. Feelings and identification with your frozen sorrow ….. Feelings …It canot happen with infertile Adopters because they are projecting what they never had … There’s a phantom baby in you they never had .. I felt it … It’s part of my dislocated ideneity core .. Abnormality forced on me.
Adults turn off in their ways and seem wise .. Meanshile the REAL law of nature hides you as an Adoptee and in some cases we are abused on top of losses (I was) .. So we hide again and again and again …
We dream in black and bright-wanted shadows of something we will never have.. Genetic mirroring .. And the Niles in us flood inm secret dreams .. I remember it all. I stay in life for one purpose of Witness and would rather be dead.. But Witness is a trial of fires worth struggling for ..
In this article in the Independent which I wish had been for hundreds of birth names of Adoptees lost inside the child abusive hells of Adoptions I became witnessed .. Under my own birth name .. A gravestone of life for me exists now .. Named “Paul Brian Tovey” .. I can cry and mourn a bit more and still be alive after Child Abuses .. Loss is important to grieve – they closed all that down many years ago in my Adoption …
Everyone did ..The whole process did .. I am not alone either ..
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