We came across this entertaining legal alphabet which was kindly shared by the lovely Zoey White on Twitter this morning, and it inspired us to write our own family law focused version. Needless to say it’s a little darker than the original. 

A is for adultery, a moral dilemma,

B is for barrister, one hopes will be clever,

C is for Cafcass, still boo’d and berated,

D is for divorce, those relationships fated,

E is a Form, declaring all wealth,

F is for finances hidden by stealth,

G is for Guardian, but angels are few,

H is for hearing, but not me and not you,

I is for injunction, the cruellest of gags,

J is for judges and fingers that wag,

K is for kids whose voices are muted

L is for law, ignored and diluted

M is for families misrepresented,

N is for Nisi, a last chance to be mended,

O is for oaths, but who’s telling the truth?

P is for patience to hear out our youth,

Q is for questions, let’s ask the right ones,

R is for reviews of dead daughters and sons,

S is for social workers, the new and the numb,

T is for trial, delayed and disordered,

U is for unrepresented, the justice you’re not afforded,

V is for victims of violence and cuts,

W is for child witnesses labelled bad seeds and sluts,

X is for crosses and ticks and red tape

Y is for why do we still minimise rape?

and Z is for zygotes in the surrogacy sweepstake.