Welcome to another Monday.
As the Independent Inquiry Into Child Sexual Abuse starts its work, conversations about terminology and definitions in relation to child abuse victims, have dominated social media forums. Some bystanders have criticised the use of the term survivor to describe child abuse victims, suggesting it is disproportionate to the experience of abuse and disrespectful to survivors of genocide, whilst some victims themselves have said they found the term un-empowering.
Others have suggested that the term is befitting of a phenomenon which leaves people emotionally and sometimes physically scarred for life as a result of their treatment and some survivors dislike the term victim, which they also feel is disempowering.
Our question to you then, is this: should terminology like this be a personal choice or a public one?
Very Interesting re use of words and how it makes people feel individually.
Victim has this negativity placed on it by some professionals -” well, do you want to be a victim all your life? etc, etc and talking about going from victim mode into survivor mode – as if it was that simple.
This is usual for those professionals who have not been abused as children themselves and their only knowledge is from books.
Survivor implies to most professionals that the trauma of the abuse is over and all is well again – when of course that is not 100% true either- as triggers can happen any time.
Child sexual abuse is a soul wound and not just physical and mental etc.
A good way of putting it comes from
The explanation of the life long injury is so accurate,
http://wellbeingfoundation.com/sexual-abuse.html
“Sexual abuse: eclipse of the soul
The trauma of childhood sexual abuse is almost incomprehensible.
Here, Michael Corry and Aine Tubridy explain some of the consequences
I’ve come to realise that sexual assault is an imposed death experience for the victim.
That is, the victim experiences her life as having been taken by someone else.”
— Evangeline Kane
How many professionals are aware of soul retrieval in those who have suffered child sexual abuse? How many do inner healing with the abused?
So much easier to numb them with drugs for life.
I only know from experience.
I am suggesting a different word here –
Veteran of Child Sexual Abuse- because the word VETERAN carries RESPECT in the collective .
It also implies PTSD and Triggers etc that can come at any time from nowhere.
Victim implies weakness.
Survivor implies its all over and the victim is 100% fine now.
I have suggested Veteran to those I used to work with and I saw the difference immediately. Their eyes light up like beacons and they come alive again.
You have to witness it to know as there are no human words to explain it- that I know of…but no doubt someone will word it beautifully Natasha.
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I agree with comments Lady Portia 27. Abuse and its impact, is personal to each sufferer, some do NOT survive, what is survival anyway, some survive but do they thrive?? surely it should be MORE than existing? so to say survivors is a radical assumption made by many without thinking about the crime in real terms. Victim sounds like there is no recovery and is negative and disempowering. Historic abuse is also a terrible use of wording as it implies in the past and no consideration for the fact these events live behind the eyes of those affected by the crime, mostly all their lives. we are obsessed with giving people labels these days. In giving a label it is almost as if it makes other people feel the whole issue is tidied up in a neat package. In answer to the question those affected by the crime should use the wording with which they are comfortable. As for others in the public, please spend some time considering the plight some have suffered before using seemingly trite words like victim and abused and survivor. In reality NO words can explain how it is. A child’s innocence – stolen, their trust and life potential in many cases – killed . Maybe ” harmed” could be a better all embracing word? If you wish to know how to THRIVE which is better than SURVIVING please contact our THRIVE specialist James Woodworth through our organisation. And then we have prevention which is what Enough Abuse UK delivers – if you cant tick ABLE – Acknowledge, Believe, Listen and Educate then you will never prevent abuse. It sadly f,or many, still remains the elephant in the room.
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Words have a way of framing meaning – words with negative connotations can create a mindset around things in others and the actual “victim”. The victim can then be subjugated by these meanings so my belief is we need words that offer empowerment and not disempowerment to “victims”. “Victim” then has to be binned right away. – who in the hell wants to remain and be a victim? Victime simply isn’t an empowering word. Victim invokes meanings of disempowerment, unable to take back that which was taken etc. Even the word survivor I find worrying. Survival is taking care of life’s most basic functions. Eating, breathing — I survived for years but that wasn’t living. I wanted to be more than a survivor. I mean at the end of day these are only words right? But try calling yourself something for long enough and being labeled that by others and you typically end up taking on the connotations of that word. We had a discussion about this on my page the other day and all agreed the word survivor sucked. No conclusive answers on this one yet because I am still contemplating this question but we came up for now was warrior – we have survived every day since childhood – I aren’t a survivor, I am a warrior (expletive deleted:-) Good question. Let me get back to you on this one. Grant http://www.newzealandchildabuse.com
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Changing a name after Victim and Survivor has been in circulation so long is difficult as it’s now in the public’s psych. Both names are descriptive words that have lnegative connotations and can shape how a person is thought of and treated. The person can also try unconsciously to live up to the name! They also describe the person after the events. I may watch too many Marvel films but a powerful empowering name like Abuse Exposer is what I like!
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Like that Dana – “abuse exposer” is an empowering term. For me any label that should be attached to adults who were abused as children should reflect their strength and resilience. I’ve survived things and had a life that would make many cringe as to the shite I find myself doing and in. Most couldn’t do this but because so much happened early in my life re physical and sexual violence it created a very strong person with an almost 6th sense who can read dangerous situations and spot evil from a mile away (and no doubt I had some help along the way from some very worn out guardian angels).I aren’t necessarily proud of all that I have done but I am damned proud of the person I became and in some ways I even thank my abusers (albeit god could only help them if they ever appeared on my radar). Victim – hell no!!. I was a victim as an child – children are innocent and can’t defend themselves – then that child grows up and either falls or stands – those who stand did so because they were not victims nor ‘survivors (i.e. only capable of breathing and taking care of the most basic needs). I think it is important that we all give ourselves a label that has real and empowering meaning to us. Me I guess that is a warrior and in your case an “abuse exposer” is a warrior too. We I guess become warriors for children because they can’t defend themselves and we more than most understand their pain.
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