If we were to recount the number of procedural wrong-turns and foul play every time we got an email from the parents we assist, we would be typing forever, but we are so fed up at this point of watching family law professionals do whatever they wish, that we’re writing a small list of Bug Bears here.
These are the things which defy belief, and most of the time, law and procedure:
- Failing to support a parent with Parental Responsibility: if one parent is making major decisions about children without the other parent, and social workers are tasked with supporting these parents, at the very least social workers, note it down. If you’re feeling really adventurous, why not actually do your job and find out how this is affecting the children?
- If you’re going to write a social work report, make it fact not fiction: so much court time is wasted with a parent having to explain, over and over again, that social work reports are riddled with error. Get it right the first time people, and you won’t have to spend even more time on your cases. Think of it as case management. Being organised and focused has its advantages.
- You’re not here to judge, Your Honour: far too many judges spend far too much time thinking they’ve been asked to make judgment calls on styles of parenting which have already been deemed perfectly safe for the children in question. This is not your domain. Your title is confusing, we know, but you’re there to find solutions, not mould the world in your own image.
- It’s not a popularity contest: Newsflash. Parents are not here to win your affection or joust for your favour. Get on with the business of finding and sifting facts, please.
- Mediation -didn’t you hear? It’s like never gonna happen (not like this anyway). Making mediation compulsory isn’t going to help anyone. Why not try making common sense and procedure compulsory instead?
- The Voice of the What? Yes, children have thoughts too. We should listen to them. It’s up to us as adults to figure out how we process those thoughts without compromising their trust and understanding. Our children are the future – let’s not make them hateful and bitter citizens.
- She said, he said, they said: It’s all well and good everyone making allegations, but nothing should fly in court unless there are facts to back it up. Maybe our family law professionals need a refresher course on fact finding and evidence gathering. The last time we checked, hearsay and gut instinct alone were not acceptable forms of ‘fact’.
- The Eleventh Hour Versus The Timetable: We don’t care if it takes three weeks instead of two to find the right solution for a child in care – better than a lifetime of sorrow and misery for that child facing a wrong decision, just because some prat in an office plucked a number out of thin air for a timetable.
- How Many Social Workers Does It Take To Change a Light bulb? It’s a familiar story for most children in care, but the high turnover of social work staff in each child’s life is a disgrace. If a child had attachment issues before going into care, he’s likely to leave with far greater ones after his stint in it. Assign one social worker, and unless they die or finish their time with a child, they should not be replaced. It’s that simple.
- Stop Sneaking Around: Whether it’s Local Authorities taking children from parents without telling them, backhanding judges reports to ‘seal the deal’ pre hearing, or swooping down on parents as soon as they give birth to take their babies, the levels of barbarity know no bounds inside the system. World Class systems don’t behave this way – earn your reputation and strive to keep it, rather than living on old kudos, long worn out.
- What Did You Say Your Qualifications Were? If you’re a social worker or a court expert, you need qualifications to do the job (don’t get us started on the levels of training, which are appalling too). If you’re out there on the field without one, it’s only a matter of time before someone will spot you. Get off the pitch and come back and play when you’re a pro.
- I’ve Played By Your Rules and I’ve Won… But I’m Still Going To Lose? We’re always incensed by reports which require parents to adhere to behaviour, classes or types of support, who pass with flying colours and who are still denied contact with their children. Real growth is not a token gesture – it’s a conscious choice by a parent to reclaim their child. Take it seriously, just as you wish others to take your work seriously.
- Stop Gagging Me: If a consumer has a complaint about a product, we don’t go to court and stop them from complaining, or penalise them for it – we have proper channels to deal with complaints. Listen to the gripes against the system – it’s not just hot air from disgruntled parents, it’s an opportunity to improve your services.
- What’s My Day Job Got To Do With It? As long as parents and grandparents are not breaking the law, it should not matter whether they are selling chocolate willies, campaigning for changes inside the family justice system or have an ingrained mistrust of social work professionals. It is irrelevant as fas as child welfare and contact go. If we had a penny for the number of times social services cut parents’ and relatives’ contact just because they complained or lobbied the system for change we would be very wealthy indeed. No one likes a system which reacts like a big girl’s blouse. Get over yourselves already and get down to business.
- You’re a Big Bully: the system likes to throw its wait around and Domination Fever is catching. No one is working to bully parents into submission. Bully your clients and lose respect.
We have many, many more bugbears, but these were the things on our mind today. By all means, do add yours below.
Researching Reform 
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2567147/Did-social-workers-middle-class-familys-adored-child-meet-adoption-targets-Four-year-old-boy-torn-loving-mother-hospital-no-one-hurt-him.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2567401/Pictured-Disgusting-squalor-father-kept-three-young-children-amid-rotting-food-smeared-excrement-partner-left-job-clean.html
Two very different articles in the Daily Mail today. The same result! Children being removed from their homes
I cannot understand why social services cannot support families to enable the children to remain at home.
In the first case its clear the grandmother would want her grandchild and she has done nothing wrong, so why wasn’t the child given to her, at least!
The Judge said in the second case there was neglect but no cruelty. Its clear that once this man lost his partner he could not cope! He needed psychiatric help, no one lives like this through choice!
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Reblogged this on The Story of my Twin Boys.
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Reblogged this on World4Justice : NOW! Lobby Forum..
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http://voiceofdetroit.net/2014/02/23/global-hero-maryanne-godboldo-back-in-court-new-criminal-hearing-set-for-march-14/
Whilst this is happening in Detroit, medications to subdue or control are being given to kids in care in the UK! That’s another of my bugbears!
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Hi Natasha:
While I always enjoy reading your posts, this one is particularly saddening. I guess these are universal problems. I boil it down to “roles and responsibilities.” Too many people in every field, but it seems to be an acute problem in the family arena, lack an understanding of their specific role, and the responsibilities attached to it. Once that is lacking, there is no strong foundation upon which to build a system and process, that works for all.
It seems some clarification of roles may help, and then an agreement of the responsibilities one undertakes by taking on that role. And, then, as you say a training or re-training if there one does not have the the skills to execute the responsibilities of the role taken. All of this, along with a healthy dose of not trying to interfere with the roles others are assigned, may begin to fix a few of these items on the “Bugbear List.”
Always a pleasure to see these thoughtful and insightful reflections on the system.
Tom
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Thank you for your kind thoughts, Tom. There is a large problem with the multi-disciplinary approach in the system here. A lack of trust, confusion over who does what and a lot of competition to take work away from other teams, so what you seem to get is a big mess. Sometimes I wonder whether these departments need frightening managers who will make everyone feel frightened not to give their best. I would never advocate that for children, but discipline here seems to be totally lacking amongst these adults.
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Now what could possibly bother me about the family court system??
1:-Forced adoption 2:-Taking children into care for risk 3:-Gagging parents 4-:Gagging children 5:-Refusing parents leave to call witnesses 6:-Choosing experts and refusing parents any say or having a second opinion.7 :-Branding parents as child abusers on the balance of probabilities 8:-Lawyers who advise clients to go along with social services even when adoptions are planned 9:-Punishing parents and children by separating them even when no crimes have been committed.10:-Refusing entry to the court to grandparents,step-parents,and close relatives of the parents.11:-Children taken from parents for alleged “emotional abuse” 12:-Telling wives to split from their husbands(and vice versa) otherwise they will lose their children(when they intend to take the kids anyway).13:- One bruise,burn,or fracture and the child is gone.”one strike and you’re out!)
A very fair” baker’sdozen” I reckon !
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Many thanks for your comments, FA.
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Reblogged this on Parents Against Injustice..
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The secret family court is a sinister unaccountable system, filled with totally unaccountable so-called ‘ professionals’.
It refuses to allow the family in, even to observe its strange and bullying procedures, let alone to offer help to the beleaguered parent or child.
It relies on social workers records of whose gross inaccuracy a six year old would be ashamed.
It lets court staff get away with – what I believe to be corrupt – collusion with solicitors and lawyers, over the heads of those seeking ‘ justice. ‘Justice?’ That’s a macabre laugh.
It allows CAFCASS Officers to stand in Court when even their social work registration credentials are suspect, being in another name than the one by which they are known.
It allows self-serving solicitors and barristers to make it up as they go along, and allows its court staff to stamp such appallingly bad documents.
It bullies and threatens the protecting parent, especially if that parent is male.
It allows in – and pays – a large range of self-serving incompetents, who would be summarily sacked if their rotten practices were ever to blink in the light of day. And these people squat on our ‘justice’ for entire ‘working’ (I use the term loosely) lifetimes ruining other people’s lives daily.
Oh yes. Pick a job in the secret court service.. and you’re in for life.
And Senior High Court Judges, being made fully aware of the malpractice, do little to set it right or prevent it from recurring.
When you consider that we are all forced to pay for this… monstrosity…?
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Thank you, OA.
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My major BugBear is that the Triers of Fact in the Family Courts have become the Triers of Opinions. The worst example is how parents are now brought before Courts for acts which they may do in the future, and their children are removed from their care. A young girl suffers a depressive episode in her mid-teens, but when she is in her mid-twenties her children are removed because a social worker’s (crystal ball) opinion is that she MAY harm her children in the future. A early-teens boy beats a younger boy in the street, but in his mid-twenties his children are removed because he MAY physically assault them.
Research and statistics show that the vast majority of young people grow out of their anti-social or delinquent behaviours and recover from teenage blues as they mature and experience changes in their lives. So how can they be tried for crimes they have not committed but in the `opinion’ of a pseudo-professional they may commit in the future.?. The law and the Family Courts have gone mad.
Research in recent years has exposed the very poor quality of the reports of those who give opinions to the Courts and how little they are based on provable fact. Very often such pseudo-professionals have not kept up-to-date with the most recent research or quote theories which are the subject of vigorous dispute in the respective professional community and are therefore unsafe and unsound to use in practice. E.g. Reflex Anal Dilatation (Cleveland 1987), Satanic Ritual Abuse (Orkneys/ Nottingham/ Rochdale etc – early 1990s), Fabricated and Induced Illness in Children (used since late 1970s despite there being no scientifically conducted research to support its existence), Repressed Memory Syndrome (used extensively over the last three decades despite immense professional contention and civil actions against psychologists in America), Parental Alienation Syndrome (again completely lacking in scientifically conducted research and is unsupported by the relevant professional community and is no longer considered to have any merit by Australian Courts – again the subject of charges against a psychologist for malpractice for presenting such theory).
The research exposing the poor quality of pseudo-professional reporting would have been unnecessary if the Triers of Fact had ruled such testimony as inadmissible as it did not represent the views of the respective relevant professional community and/or was the subject of considerable dissent and consternation among those professions base on contradictory research and learned opinions.
The Triers of Fact need to return to their correct role in these matters and to more often challenge the opinions given to them where such opinions are mere conjectures, fanciful speculations, and amor propre’ theories.
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In the above context, the Triers of Fact may wish to consider keeping the rulings of Judge Judge in the Angela Cannings Appeal in front of them i.e. (Lord Justice Judge – Angela Cannings Appeal Hearing against conviction 2004),
“in cases like the present, if the outcome of the trial depends exclusively or almost exclusively on a serious disagreement between distinguished and reputable experts, it will often be unwise, and therefore unsafe, to proceed”.
Experts should always be challenged on whether their views and opinions are supported by their relevant professional community.
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Thank you, R, poor quality inside the system is a huge bugbear of mine too.
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This is not ‘poor quality’. The system stinks.. and urgently needs to be changed for the better.. if that is possible.
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Had David Cameron delivered on his promise to make good on becoming Prime Minister that Grandparents would be given rights, then by now other good policy would have followed and perhaps there would not be this furore for common sense to prevail on the most important issues of children through court processes.
Everyone seems to forget that Judges are there for the public to scrutinize with valid comments for improvement.
Priority needs to be given to simplify the methods of complaints procedures , which after all are the means to change what does not work.
We seem to be encouraging the powers that be to invade our thinking when it comes to common sense reform in what amounts to coming together in doing what is right and not allow the continuation of all that has been proved to be wrong.
If nothing else pressure should be brought to bear , for David Cameron to answer why he did not deliver to the people who voted for him , that that is frankly common sense:-
“Rights for Grandparents”!!
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Thank you Tarjia-Dian, it’s a shame politicians are allowed to make promises in the first place, as they never intend on keeping them.
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It is also a shame that any of us believe them, since they do not have our interests at heart.
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Tarjia-Dian Stannard Smith – Re your comment: “Priority needs to be given to simplify the methods of complaints procedures , which after all are the means to change what does not work.”
Whatever gave you that idea? I have been trapped up the blind, blocked alley of so many complaints systems over the years, that I have formulated my own complaints policy. It runs like this:
“I will only deal personally with ‘the accountable person’ within your organisation.
I will not make a formal complaint into your system until you fully recognise the complaint which I have.
Should no immediate resolution be forthcoming from ;the accountable person’ I will publicise that complaint as broadly and persistently as possible unless you immediately change for the better your way of dealing with my grievance.
I will attend to speak at your Board and other public meetings as often as necessary until the whole world cannot miss that you have done or caused to be done, and refuse to prevent, put right or stop.
I will publicly demonstrate, with placards as necessary, to make sure you get the point, change the personnel and begin to treat the public as your bread and butter, which they are. There will be no jam.”
Of course this will and does waste my life.. but anger is a better bedmate than despair.
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And this a the worst of all Bugbears.
How Family Court judges are awarding contact and even the custody of children to fathers such as this.
How in all conscience can Family Court judges justify ordering children into such situations with all of the attendant risks, and which they do with such regularity.
And how can Father’s Rights advocates claim that fathers are needlessly excluded from their children’s lives when there is such judicial bias towards them and have total judicial disregard of their dangerousness.
“Joshusa Komisarjevsky is appealing his sentence, after being found guilty of 17 various counts on October 13 for the grisly murders of Jennifer Hawke-Petit and her children, Hayley, 17, and Michaela, 11; followed by torching their family home.
Komisrjevsky also sexually molested Michaela.
Not reported, was the history of how Joshua Komisrjevsky was awarded custody of his daughter just prior to planning and committing the murders. Records show that Komisarjevsky was awarded sole custody of his daughter about a month before the sex-crime, triple-murder arson.
Both parents had drug issues but Joshua was also a burglar, known to have sex with underage girls.”.
http://www.examiner.com/article/triple-murderer-joshua-komisarjevsky-had-won-full-custody-of-his-daughter
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Being male does not mean being bad, in any sense of he word.
In ensuring the safety of a disabled and harmed child, from mother, social workers, CAFCASS officer, Court, the father and uncle spent a shedload of money which they did not have. This has caused great extended family hardship to protect one family member, through a Court system which can only be described as incompetent and corrupt.
It involved the grandparent risking ‘contempt of court’ charges, by writing to the judge – who would not let her into the ‘family’ court – with documentary evidence fo teh lies which were being placed before him.
In this case it was the female who – with the aid of the so-called ‘professionals’ – was harming the child. The male finally won custody, of a harmed and already disabled child whom he loves and protects, and cares for 24 hours of the day all the days of the year..
But if you had seen and understood the terrible time of professionally caused lies and quite deliberate stress which had to be endured to protect, you might also understand why I write this. I never write or make claims without ample documentary evidence for what I say.
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The point of this is that Family Courts are ordering children into contact with and even the custody of parents who are toxci, violent, and dangerous and in this case there was ample evidence to indicate so. If you have a similar example of a mother acting in the same heinous ways, then by all means post it. But don’t turn this into a gender issue – it is about the safety and protection of children which Family Courts that determine contact and custody issues are failing to support.
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No. I’m not ‘turning it into a gender issue. I am merely trying to balance the gender blame, which has already been expressed. And in case you missed it, the point I made had quite enough to show the problem as far as the male parent is concerned.. and that was based on personally experienced fact. However, greater exposure might well harm the child.. and I am not prepared to do that.
Adults of all and any persuasions can all be as you quaintly term it ‘toxic’ for the vulnerable of all ages.
The fact that a person is what we might term ‘mummy’ does not automatically mean that ‘mummy’ will not harm her own child, over and over again.
The fact that a person is what we might call ‘daddy’ equally does not automatically mean that ‘daddy’ will not protect that child from harm against the whole world if need be.
There are good people and bad people. That’s tough.. but it is a fact.. and being a so-called ‘professional’ does not alter that fact.
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I dont think many people are aware that the Pharmaceutical companies pay the Governments mega bucks every year so that the Nation can be used for experiments of drugs any one ever stopped to think why 1,000s of kids in care are not prescibed but GIVEN drugs for experiments, In 1996 I started to bring out the truth of the drug H.R.T.Licenced to kill and maim and boy did the medical and Governments and via the National Health push H.R.T AND 1.000S OF WOMEN WERE MURDERD LEGALLY. So whats new world population is still ongoing via the drugs and Governments will sell the Nation for money via the National Health.
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CDC Caught Hiding Data Showing Mercury in Vaccines Linked to Autism
The mainstream media’s official position regarding vaccines and autism has been that it has been “proven that there is no link”, and Dr. Andrew Wakefield is used as the standard scapegoat being presented as a “disgraced doctor” who supposedly got caught fabricating his study. Of course, Dr. Andrew Wakefield’s study has been replicated in at least 28 other studies, and no case has ever been won against Dr. Wakefield in a court of law. Litigation is still pending, and one of the doctors who was a co-author in the study has been completely exonerated in the U.K.
Yet, the man who supposedly conducted studies for the CDC proving that vaccines do not cause autism, is a wanted criminal for stealing millions of dollars from the CDC, and is still on the run from the law. But that story is seldom, if ever, reported in the mainstream media
http://wearechange.org/cdc-caught-hiding-data-showing-mercury-vaccines-linked-autism/
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Yes Maggie, my wife was one of those killed by the medical profession and their injudicious use of HRT. After she was first diagnosed with breast cancer one of the first questions of the oncologists on several occasions was `Have you been receiving HRT’?. A `Yes’ answer brought immediate knowing looks between them.
She described her suffering for the next five years as “dying inch by inch” – they refused her chemotherapy because of Health Trust funding limits. But of course those who inflicted her and killed her never had to see her pain and suffering for those five years.
Its not only surgeons who can have their mistakes buried.
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I’m so sorry, R.
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Thank you, N. At the time of my wife’s first diagnosis (2002), the figures for women diagnosed with breast cancer in western countries were given as 1 : 13 and it was mostly blamed on genetic factors. The most recent figures I have seen are that 1 : 9 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. To me this is an alarming increase in just over a decade and cannot therefore be due to genetic factors – what happens when the rate of diagnosis of breast cancer reaches 1 : 3 women – will they then begin to look at such causes as HRT and stop prescribing it.?. It also appears to be being diagnosed in much younger women (e.g. 20s and 30s) so there are clearly some other possible causes which require urgent investigation.
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Maggie is very interested in HRT and its side effects, as you may know.
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We now live in the Age of Toxic Chemical Assault on the Human Body. Food additives, prescribed and non-prescribed medications, vaccines, and pollution of the air, land, rivers and sea, etc. There is a daily toxic chemical assault on every one of us, willingly or not. I’m sure that there are far more deaths from these causes now than there are from diseases, war, or famine and that by the end of this century the life expectancy will have dropped to 15th Century levels. Toxic chemical assault on humans is a far bigger danger than Global Warming.
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I think if we add 21st century stress into the mix we have a rather concerning combination.
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I think this highly respected child trauma expert has correctly summarised most of the major issues:
WORLD RENOWNED CHILD TRAUMA EXPERT WRITES TO NATIONAL PUBLIC RADIO:
Ricky Greenwald, PsyD, is the founder and executive director of the Trauma Institute & Child Trauma Institute, Affiliate Professor at the SUNY University at Buffalo School of Social Work, and a Fellow of the American Psychological Association. He was previously on the faculty at Mount Sinai School of Medicine. Dr. Greenwald is the author of numerous professional articles as well as several books. His work has been translated into over a dozen languages.
I am an internationally recognized expert on child trauma and child abuse. Elected fellow of the APA, numerous peer-reviewed publications, books, etc. I preface my remarks in this way because if you don’t happen to know the territory, I might sound like a conspiracy quack. I’m writing because the cited article is uncritically promoting a dangerous agenda. Here’s the deal.
There is a well organized and …well funded movement of pedophiles (they like domestic violence too) fronted by the so-called “father’s rights” movement. They have been extraordinarily successful in controlling the family court system, such that an estimated 58,000 children per year are court-ordered to custody or unsupervised visits with known abusers. When the non-offending mother tries to advocate for the child’s safety, her advocacy is twisted and used against her via the junk-science “parental alienation” counter-accusation and via pervasive bias against women and children by the entire family court system, including judges, evaluators, law guardians, and even the child protective services. This is all well-established in definitive studies which I’ll be glad to provide if you’re interested.
The abuser movement promotes certain “big lies” in order to promote their goals of ever-greater control over their victims. The big lies are primarily that (a) women abuse as much as men do; and (b) family court is heavily biased in favor of women. Both of these are wildly false and go strongly in the opposite direction.
They are currently on a campaign to enact widespread legislation directing courts to presume, by default, a 50/50 custody split in contested custody cases. This is in conjunction with a propaganda documentary movie that just came out, called Divorce Inc that is advocating for the same law. They have all these flowery arguments about fairness and equality, but here are the facts:
– the vast majority of custody issues are settled by the divorcing parents without asking for the court’s guidance
– of those contested custody cases involving the court, most also involve domestic violence and/or child abuse, though the family court system is notoriously bad at recognizing violence or abuse even in the face of definitive evidence
– it is well known in my field that “high conflict” parents — such as the ones who show up in divorce court — should not be expected to co-parent because the attempt is conflict-ridden and harmful to children
– in case of domestic violence and/or child abuse (which most of the contested custody cases have, though generally not recognized by the courts), joint custody becomes an ongoing opportunity for the abuser to coerce and abuse the ex-wife and the children. Indeed, this is the exact and only purpose for which the proposed law was designed.
The National Public Radio piece only promoted the child abusers lies and agenda with no alternative view sought or presented, and indeed few facts presented; only the lies. Normally such journalism would merely be sloppy or irresponsible. But in this case it was dangerous and harmful. It further promoted the Big Lies that are being used to support further abuser-preferential legislation.
BTW the child abusers movement was all primed for this story. A bunch of people who are not usually on the comment board flooded the web site with comments further promoting and developing the Big Lies. I just blew 2 hours standing up to them, because otherwise, well, the Big Lies predominate and bad things happen.
Given the horrific state of the family court system, I have previously made suggestions to one NPR reporter or another to cover the story. The fight for children’s safety from abuse, and for children’s rights to live with their primary attachment figure barring parental lack of fitness, is the big civil rights story of our generation (far greater even than gay marriage, which I have also been active in supporting). Given the harm that NPR has done here, more than a mere apology is needed. The damage must be countered. I think it’s time to cover the other side: the movement of those trying to protect children from court-ordered abuse.
I will be glad to connect you with sources should you wish to proceed as per my suggestion.
Thank you for your consideration.
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I have no doubt that he is correct in his assumptions.. although I would point out that he is based in Buffalo, which I believe to be in the USA.
Our courts within the UK are also corrupt, self-serving and refuse to put the vulnerable child’s interests first – so that they can continue to cover their own corruptions. Look at Rochdale, Oxford, Rotherham.
However, you cannot extrapolate from this that all men are bad, violent child molesters.There are very large numbers of caring loving fathers, who would lay down their life for their own children.
‘Male’ does not equal ‘bad’ any more than female equals ‘good’. Anyone who says it does, is going down a very dangerous road, where male and female children are denied their own birthright.
The Courts’ own corruptions – and that of those who act within those courts,-must be forced to change, in order to safeguard our vulnerable children. Our police forces must get rid of the ‘dominant male officer’ attitude, when often those who feel the need to be so ‘dominant’ are thugs who use violence and abuse within their own family – and sometimes publicly against others during their work. Look at the recent molestation of protesters by Greater Manchester police officers.
This is not a simple problem which can cope with a simple fix. It requires full personal and corporate accountability. It urgently needs everyone to actively take part in their own ‘democracy’, which – let’s face it – is hardly a democracy at all as I write this.
It requires a large number of very public sackings, at every level, and especially at the top of the heap.
It requires inspired leaders, to lead by fully accountable example.
It requires re-contracting and re-training right across the board.
It needs all of the non-jobs removed from the system, especially those in which piffling amounts of money are cynically hived off (together with the hiving off of full responsibility) into charities and voluntary groups, which – with the best will in the world – would not be enough to do anything like an adequate job.,
It urgently needs a complete re-education of the general public, so that every individual can, will and must act to preserve the right of a child to be a child, with minimal interference, from courts, officials, predatory parents, other adults or children.
If necessary, it needs people out on the streets in very large numbers.. but that would be an exercising of democracy, wouldn’t it?
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Greenwald is not making any generalised comment about males – you really become extremely defensive when any comment is made regarding any male and immediately try to extend such comments into your own gender battle.
Yes the vast majority of fathers are excellent fathers and support their wives in her primary caregiver roles, and take a constant interest in their children, enriching their lives and providing a positive role model. Even after parental separation, the vast majority of such fathers (over 90%) resolve the issues of custody and contact with their children in a reasonable, responsible manner and work cooperatively in the best interests of their children.
In a tiny proportion of cases, shared parenting on an equal basis can work, where parents live close to each other and the children can continue at the same schools, and retain their friends, and continue their sporting and leisure activties without interruption.
In essence with minimal disruption to their lives. Reasonable and responsible parents recognise this and work together to keep their children’s needs as the top priority before their own needs. It is only the selfish and self-centred parents who demand their rights and wants, and are prepared to sacrifice their children’s stability, and constancy and consistency in their care for their own selfish wants.
It is only a tiny number of parents (mainly fathers) who invoke the law and the Family Courts to impose their rights and to disrupt their children’s lives to satisfy their own selfish needs and in many instances to continue to torment, torture, and abuse their former partners and children. Usually there is a history of violent assault of their partner and abuse of their children by this small group, who thrive on high levels of conflict, and they are pathologically obsessed with retaining power and control over their former partners and children. Tragically the Family Courts uphold their false denials and grant their applications for contact and even the custody of their children by the counter allegations of PAS and coaching and alienation and the cycle of abuse and violence continues, Many Family Law lawyers are highly skilled in mounting such defences and of throwing in allegations that the accusing parent is `deluded’ or has a undefined and non-specific Borderline Personality Disorder, usually put forward by a Hired Gun charlatan psychiatrist or Family Reporter/ CAFCASS worker.
It is this small group who Greenwald is referring to. If that small group of fathers don’t get their way, then they become extremely vociferous and wail, and bleat and whinge in the blogs of Father’s Rights groups, even to the point of making vile and abusive comments in those blogs and aimed at anyone and everyone who has thwarted their intentions to continue to abuse..
So when you try to turn any comment into a defence of all fathers, then remember that it is this group that you are defending, and not the vast numbers of decent and loving fathers who place their children’s needs and rights as the first priority.
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Whilst agreeing with most of your last comment, I still feel that we have to be careful about the manipulative effects of a mother who has been taught – or has an inbuilt need – to cry ‘abuse’ about her ex-partner when that has not taken place. I have personal experience of this.. and it made it very difficult to defend the child’s right not to be abused by the Mother and paediatricians.. both of which it is on record happened.
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Judge Mathew Myers – Australian Family Court
“Several US studies have addressed the probability of allegations of child sexual abuse in Family Court contexts being false. Thoennes and Tjaden (1989) found that of 105 divorce cases involving allegations of child sexual abuse, half were confirmed, one third were found to be not true and the rest remained unclear. A smaller study of 20 Family Court cases (Jones and Seig, 1988) found that most allegations of child sexual abuse were found to be reliable (14 of 20 or 70%), a minority (4 or 20%) were found to be untrue and two (10%) remained unclear. However, most of the unsubstantiated allegations were perceived to have been made in good faith, rather than through malice. Faller (1991) examined 136 cases and found that most allegations were true, but between 15 and 25 per cent were untrue.
In Australia, Brown et al (2003) re-examined the 100 cases of the Magellan Project (a quarter of them substantiated by a Child Protection Agency report) and found that allegations of abuse had been found to be false in only 11 cases. Mothers had made allegations twice as often as fathers (48% vs 21%). While two thirds of allegations by mothers (32 cases of 48) were substantiated, only one third (7 cases of 21) of allegations by fathers were substantiated. In only one case was the allegation made by the child and this case was substantiated. In most of the substantiated cases (32 cases or 63%), the father was the perpetrator. Most of the other substantiated cases (16 or 31%) were other family members, but these did not include any mothers. The 11 cases where allegations were found to be false were fairly evenly divided between allegations by mothers (5) and allegations by fathers (6), but it was also noted that in most of these cases, the alleging parent was receiving treatment for serious mental illness and/or had a history of being sexual abused as children themselves.”
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It is interesting to note that you immediately fix on ‘child sexual abuse’.
My comment on falsely laid stories of ‘abuse’ was far more broad-ranging than that (bad though that is) taking in wrongful claims by the Mother of personal harassment, threats, actually claimed harm, other abusive behaviour against he Mother, the child in question or against other people – child or adult.
It is certain that some devious Mothers are capable of running the gamut of such claims, which often succeed because social workers have an inbuilt training bias against fathers, who when they try to protect their own children, no matter how mildly, are termed ‘aggressive’, ‘loud’, ‘vexatious’, ‘threatening’, and/or all the other misplaced words within the armoury of social workers, which are readily used against men.. but seemingly not against women.
Rotten vindictive, highly inaccurate records are then written against the male parent, and are used in the Court, which does not question them. The only way to stop this is to record each and every conversation, and for the male parent to be very quick off the mark when allegations are made in court.
Even solicitors and barristers acting for the male parent, will let both the child and that parent down, by either incompetence, or disinterest in accuracy.
Judges will make all sorts of comments against bad practice, but it seems that they never haul lying ‘professionals into Court and strip them of their job – yet they should, because we rely upon their ‘justice’. The pity of it is that actual ‘justice’ seems to be the last thing on their minds. And, within their secret Family Courts, they can afford to make it so.
Time to radically change to rotten system.
The above is written from very painful, personal experience.. though of course, I do not have a broad overview of personal experience, but only experience of protecting one child. In case anyone wonders, I am a female grandparent. But I can certainly see how much men are denigrated.
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Only the study in the first paragraph refers to child sexual abuse. You admit to having experience of only one case and yet making sweeping claims that it represents a larger group but offer no evidence to support such a claim. and also pejorative comments regarding professional groups and the system with no supportive evidence.
Its ok to have a rant about your personal circumstances and experiences from your own highly subjective and biased perspective, but don’t claim that they are representative of any significant group of people or that your views are held by anyone else other than yourself. In order to gain some objective perspective on the situation you describe, next time could you include the views and comments of the people you so readily condemn, regarding your part in events and where your attitudes and conduct have been unhelpful? and unkind. In very few situations is one person the saint and all others are the sinners.
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The youngest person who contacted the help line was aged 15 and had been prescibed H.R.T and was experiencing the side effects from this young girl I went onto research why such young women were prescibed H.R.T and for the thousands of women world wide on the pill when they stopped the pill their own hormones were now out of zinc and they did not for many months have a period and so the Doctors would say they were menopausal and prescibe H.R.T same with women who stopped the pill so they could have a baby but no chance and then payed mega bucks for fertility treatment, from the pill we have the Jonel babies, the third highest rates of cancer in the world are babies born to women on the Pill, women on H.R.T many 1.000s their bodies have become masculine to the point of a clitrus extension which women refered to as growing a penis Natasha I told the world this on morning ITV news so its ok what I say here, what Ragnvald says is so true but not even the tip of the iceberg, women in Scotland were having their overies removed on lies again I found out why, the overies were sold to one of many countries Thailand being one to be stiched into gay guys to try to make them pregnant then I found many women on the pill or H.R.T were having hysterectomies unnecessarily and yes the surgions got paid extra money apart from their wages and we are talking thousands for every hysterectomie they do, womens bodies are just an experiment for cloning and controle of the population. For many months I have been looking into why so many kids and adults are being prescibed antidepressants even people are going to the Docs and consultants with what ever and all the Docs want to do is to prescibe antidepressants its called controle.
Maggie
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2568973/Adorable-footage-newborn-baby-clings-mothers-face-does-not-want-taken-away-nurses-wrapped.html
Baby knows what baby needs! Social workers should take note!
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2568762/The-teens-troll-In-shocking-new-form-self-harming-young-people-vile-online-bullies.html
More 21st Century stress!
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2569198/Paedophile-posed-Justin-Bieber-online-chat-rooms-groom-girls-young-SEVEN-internet.html
“This is yet another of these sad examples of the internet opening up activities which would never have been indulged in had it not been there.”
This has to be the most stupid comment I’ve heard in a long while!
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We need a concise definition of ‘professional opinion’. Cafcass use this phrase to hide verifiable facts. Cafcass need clear policies that families and officers can follow rather than leaving everything up to individual opinion – this is how and why such awful things happen. Actually – think it’s far better to get rid of Cafcass.
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Let’s call a spade a spade – with thanks for the opportunity, Natasha:
1. the utter HYPOCRISY of making appear ‘legal’ what is, in fact, criminal: child STEALING;
2. the disgraceful COLLUSION between ‘professionals’ who seem to be paid to switch their conscience off;
3. the criminalisation of innocent parents, especially foreigners, through the most appalling of fraudulent trials;
4. the un-accountability and irresponsibility of everybody who COULD make a difference, if only…???…
Fuelled by the hope that the EU Petitions Committee will hear our UK Delegation on 19 March: http://punishmentwithoutcrime.wordpress.com/2014/02/28/systemic-patterns-of-child-snatching-and-forced-adoptions-in-the-uk-a-first-draft-for-the-eu-petitions-committee/
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Thanks S, any time.
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2512426/Social-workers-immune-abuse-turn-robots-protect-children.html
Sabine, that’s point 2!
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A few more of my bugbears concerning:
Adoption-Trafficking-Abuse-Children
http://rt.com/news/child-uk-trafficking-slavery-589/
http://rt.com/news/human-trafficking-slavery-shocking-050/
http://rt.com/news/human-trafficking-slavery-crime-746/
http://rt.com/news/children-care-homes-uk-226/
http://rt.com/op-edge/rehoming-adopted-children-problems-669/ (video)
http://rt.com/op-edge/adoption-children-scandal-kuzmin-159/
http://rt.com/op-edge/russia-eu-human-rights-035/
http://rt.com/usa/alexandria-hill-texas-toddler-125/
http://rt.com/usa/parents-child-daughter-rachel-619/
http://rt.com/usa/us-court-russia-child-594/
http://rt.com/usa/russian-couple-seeking-answers-baby-489/
http://rt.com/politics/lavrov-gay-marriage-france-adoption-662/
http://rt.com/politics/russia-vows-to-prosecute-us-citizens-guilty-of-russian-kids-deaths-528/
http://rt.com/politics/russian-public-chamber-invites-us-ambassador-to-adoptions-roundtable-283/
http://rt.com/politics/russia-us-adoptions-moscow-orphans-145/
http://rt.com/politics/russia-opportunity-monitor-us-502/
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One more: Eric Pickles MP perception of social workers, past and present! History, but not as I know it!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2157884/What-Victorians-teach-todays-social-workers-helping-Eric-Pickles-problem-families.html
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http://www.london-footprints.co.uk/peooctavia.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Octavia_Hill#Early_years
http://www.aboutbritain.com/articles/poverty-in-victorian-times.asp
http://www.aboutbritain.com/articles/victorian-children.asp
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What the world needs to learn is that children really are
SCREAMING TO BE HEARD but who ever listens to a child they are the silent witnesses and here lies the truth, kids really are in the 21 centry still without a voice when the world starts to listen to kids then kids maybe safer, but then most people are like the CAFCASS women who said to me ALL KIDS IN CARE TELL LIES AND NONE KNOW WHAT THEY WANT and this women represents kids in court cases and is supposed to be the voice for the children, year on another planet.
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Sometimes mothers make up out of pure spite, allegations of sexual abuse by the father on the children.But,In some cases of course the allegations are true.
Very often it is hard to decide which parent should be believed and the decision is made by a judge “on the balance of probabilities” (51%+)
That is why I believe that judges are just plain wicked when they make orders refusing the parent losing in court, the right to have even indirect contact by email,phone,or letter, with their own children.Jail if they so much as wave at them in the street !
I also believe judges exceed their statutory authority and are themselves acting illegally making draconian orders that they have no statutory authority to make.
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This article encapsulates the crises in the Family Courts and the issues regarding the incorrect decision-making in those Courts.
CUSTODY CRISIS – WHY MOMS ARE PUNISHED IN COURTS
Talk to mothers, divorce lawyers, and child advocates and you’ll hear tales of a family court system that’s badly broken.
Talk to mothers, divorce lawyers, and child advocates and you’ll hear tales of a family court system that’s badly broken. It’s one that routinely punishes women for coming forward with allegations of abuse by denying them custody of their children. Instead of protecting children from abusers and predators, the court often gives sole custody to the abusive parent, say child advocates. Mothers who tell judges their children are being molested or beaten are accused of lying and are punished for trying to intervene. Some are thrown in jail for trying to keep their kids from seeing an abusive parent. Women, many of whom have few financial resources at their disposal, are often at the mercy of a court system that is not designed to handle domestic violence.
Some mothers like Lorraine Tipton of Oconto Falls, WI, have served jail time as the result of contentious custody arraignments. In November, a judge sentenced Lorraine to 30 days behind bars because she didn’t force her 11-year-old daughter to follow the court’s order to live every other week with her abusive father. “She’s terrified of going; she has night terrors and severe anxiety,” said Lorraine.
Her ex, Craig Hensberger, was arrested three times for domestic violence and once for child abuse. His criminal record also includes two DUI arrests, one of which happened while driving with his daughter. The court ordered Hensberger into rehab and demanded “absolute sobriety,” but his daughter claims he still drinks excessively when she visits.
Hensberger admitted in court that he still continues to drink, but the judge punished Lorraine instead for trying to protect her child. “My abuser is continuing his abuse of me and my daughter with the help of the court,” said Lorraine, who spent three days locked up until her daughter made the heart-wrenching decision to return to her father’s home so her mother could be released from jail. “He can’t get to me physically. The only way he knows how to hurt me is to take my child away.”
“What we are seeing amounts to a civil rights crisis,” says attorney and legal writer Michael Lesher, who co-authored the book From Madness To Mutiny: Why Mothers Are Running from the Family Courts — and What Can Be Done about It. Many judges and court-appointed guardians act above the law with apparent impunity, he argues.
“There’s no hearing, no evidence, no notice — they can take your child away from you,” Lesher tells momlogic. If a mother raises concerns or openly discusses child abuse in court, she typically ends up being the one under investigation. “Mom is guilty until proven innocent,” he says.
Unlike criminal court, family court does not rely on criminal investigators to gather evidence in an alleged child abuse case. Instead, the court appoints family advocates known as “guardian ad litem,” or GAL, who are expected to investigate the abuse allegations and make their recommendation in the best interest of the child. GALs are sometimes licensed psychologists, social workers, or attorneys who are not necessarily trained in evaluating sexual abuse or domestic violence. They have the judge’s ear, and their opinions can alter a child’s future. There are no juries and there’s no mandate for legal representation. In fact, most women end up representing themselves because they can’t afford the attorney fees.
Most moms don’t want to take the case to criminal court because they prefer to keep the matter private. Legal experts contend the evidence in sexual abuse cases isn’t typically strong enough to hold up in criminal court to overcome the threshold of “beyond a reasonable doubt.” While the bar is set much lower for proving evidence in family court, advocates argue Child Protective Services frequently doesn’t want to get involved. “If there’s a custody battle going on, CPS won’t touch it,” says Irene Weiser of the advocacy group StopFamilyViolence.org.
There’s no doubt fathers play a critical role in a child’s life, and in most cases, are equally loving and capable parents who deserve custody. However, studies find when a wife accuses her husband of abuse, more than half the time, she faces a counter-accusation of “parental alienation syndrome,” or PAS. Although PAS is not a medically recognized disorder, divorce attorneys often successfully argue that it emerges when a parent brainwashes a child into thinking the other parent is the enemy.
The psychiatrist Richard Gardner, who first coined the phrase “parental alienation syndrome” in 1987, has written more than one hundred articles on the subject, but has offered no scientific data to support his theory. While it’s not considered a certifiable medical condition, PAS is widely accepted in the legal community.
“Parental Alienation unequivocally, categorically exists, and it’s a form of child abuse,” says author and forensic consultant Dean Tong. While he believes more studies need to be done to validate PAS, “it does exist, anecdotally speaking,” he says. As an expert witness, Tong has been called a “fathers’ rights prostitute” for his work in court clashes. But he also testifies for mothers who are fighting to appeal unfavorable rulings. For Tong, it’s about using forensics to find the truth. “I’m not here to protect guys who are guilty,” he says.
In years past, mothers were typically considered the “protective parent” in custody decisions when courts relied on the “Tender Years Doctrine,” which states that children under the age of 13 should live with their mothers. Recently, several courts have ruled that doctrine violated the Equal Protection Clause in the 14th amendment, and replaced it with the “Best Interests of the Children” doctrine. It’s a huge victory for the increasingly powerful Fatherhood Movement that contends dads are systematically alienated from their children after a divorce.
Tong argues the current legal climate continues to put fathers on the receiving end of false allegations. “It’s handcuffs first, speak later,” said Tong, who experienced that firsthand. In 1985, Tong’s ex-wife falsely accused him of sexually abusing his 3-year-old daughter. He spent time in jail and went through “a year of hell” trying to prove his innocence. While Tong was eventually cleared of any wrongdoing, he never regained custody of his kids, and remained under supervised visitation for years. Tong became a self-taught expert on the subject of family rights and abuse accusations. He has written three books, including Elusive Innocence: Survival Guide for the Falsely Accused.
“There’s an assumption that maintaining a child’s relationship with the father is a good idea — even if the father is abusive,” says Stop Family Violence’s Weiser, who believes when the overburdened court system is unable to sort out a custody conflict, it relies on misogyny. She argues there are many judges, GALs, and evaluators who believe that women are inherently vindictive and will lie to get a leg up in a custody battle. “We see it over and over again in family court, where judges or professionals don’t believe the violence is occurring,” Weiser says.
“All we have is ‘he said, she said.’ Who’s telling the truth? That’s up to the judge,” says Tong, who believes the justice system isn’t working for either side. “The system is not doing a good job interviewing kids, we’re still in the dark ages there,” says Tong, who thinks there needs to be more formal education and training for the professionals, including judges who are hearing child custody cases.
According to the American Bar Association, child abuse allegations in custody disputes are rare — occurring in only six percent of cases. The majority of those accusations are substantiated. In terms of false allegations, fathers are more likely than mothers to intentionally lie (21 percent, compared to 1.3 percent). In fact, abusive parents are more likely to seek sole custody than nonviolent ones, and are successful about 70 percent of the time.
After three years of litigation, Linda Marie Sacks says she was no match for her ex-husband’s financial resources and powerful connections. “He was buying his way through the courtroom.” Despite 10 calls into the abuse hotline by licensed professionals, Linda Marie’s ex-husband still claimed she was making false allegations of abuse to alienate his children, and the judge believed him. Linda Marie was kicked out of her home and put on supervised visitation with her two daughters, who are now ages 10 and 12. “The judge legally kidnapped my daughters and won’t give them back,” she said.
In some extreme cases, a custody decision will be reversed, which is what happened to Joyce Murphy. The San Diego mother was charged with kidnapping after she took her daughter out of state, away from the girl’s father, because she believed he was a child molester. The father, Henry Parson, accused Joyce of parental alienation and she lost custody. “Despite my pleas for protection to the police and the DA and the family court representatives, and even psychologists, Mr. Parson was able to convince them and the community at large that he was the victim, and I was just an angry, embittered, divorced woman,” explained Joyce.
Six years later, Parson was caught in the act and pleaded guilty to six counts of child abuse, which included oral sex with a child, molestation, possessing child porn, and using a child to make porn. After Parson received a six-year prison sentence, Joyce told reporters that family court’s only good decision in her case was granting her full permanent custody of her daughter after her ex-husband was jailed.
Lorraine, the Wisconsin mom who was jailed for protecting her daughter, knows her daughter’s nightmare will continue for the rest of her childhood. “He’s never going to stop, it’s never going to end until she’s 18.” Linda Marie says she’s putting every penny towards her legal efforts to win back custody of her daughters. “I will never stop fighting for my girls. I know one day justice will prevail.”
Critics argue that not only is the family court system broken, it was never designed to deal with issues like child custody. The goal is to develop solutions that are in the best interest of the child. “Unfortunately when judges and guardians start thinking of themselves as super government, all sorts of abuses will occur,” says attorney and author Lesher.
Activists are working towards making reforms through legislation. “The heartbreaking challenge is that there’s not one quick fix,” says Stop Family Violence’s Weiser. “This is a war — it’s very ugly, it’s bloody, and very bitter,” concludes Tong.
Read more: http://www.momlogic.com/2010/01/custody_crisis_why_mothers_are_punished_in_family_court.php#ixzz2vKXcZRa5
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Child Kidnapped and abused!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-26398483
E-fit released after Bishop’s Stortford girl abducted and raped. E-fit of Haymeads Lane rape suspect Police are appealing for anyone with information about the suspect to come forward
Police are hunting for a man who raped a 14-year-old girl from Hertfordshire while holding her prisoner for nearly 12 hours overnight.
http://edition.cnn.com/2014/02/28/world/asia/china-online-baby-trafficking-crackdown/
China has smashed four child-trafficking rings and arrested more than a THOUSAND people for using websites and instant messaging groups to trade babies, Chinese authorities said Friday.
AND THE GOVERNMENT STILL WANTS TO FORCIBLY ADOPT KIDS FROM CARE!!!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-26362035
Child poverty definition change ‘put on hold’
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-26384989
Children in care soar as councils seek more foster parents
Foster care costs
Council residential care – £2,100 per week, per child
Foster family care – £447 per week, per child
“In all the news coverage of councils struggling with budget cuts, it’s easy to overlook some big increases in funding.
Resources are being shifted into two key care services: adult care and child protection.
The reasons? Our population is getting older and new child care legislation.
It was the repercussions of the Baby Peter child cruelty case in Haringey, north London, that forced a national overhaul in council policy towards child protection and, as a result, more children are now in local authority care.”
What was the new child care legislation that came in after the Baby P scandal? Was the Children’s Act amended? Was it the local authorities policies that changed and would that be legal? If anyone knows I would be grateful.
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_trafficking
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/human-trafficking-statistics.html
http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Child-Sex-Trafficking-The-Facts
http://hottproject.com/news/organ-trafficking-news/38/havocscope-latest-organ-harvesting-and-trafficking-statistics.html
http://www.havocscope.com/tag/organ-trafficking/
http://hottproject.com/news/organ-trafficking-news.html
An estimated $9.5 billion is generated in annual revenue from all trafficking activities, with at least $4 billion attributed to the worldwide brothel industry. (Ibid.)
Human organ harvesting like adoption is a double edged sword. The authorities want voluntary organs and are willing to give the donor or their relatives financial incentives to meet the demand. On the black market there are greater financial rewards for the traffickers.
Forced adoption and the black market sale of children is also driven by demand. To my mind there is no difference as the outcomes may well be the same. As local authorities have no real idea of who the child ends up with despite initial assessments. They are driven by targets and want the kids off their books as quickly as possible. There is no monitoring once adopted.. They don’t care for the kids! It’s a job and the kids are numbers on paper! They may as well just give the children to traffickers!
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MP and Engineer Samuel Plimsole lost his temper at Disraeli with accusations of villians and murderers in Parliament over the hundreds of ships that were purposefully sunk resulting in the deaths of the merchant seamen. The advent of insurance in the 19th Century created an incentive for ship owners to sink their own ships and collect the money!
Overloading the ships was possible because there were no indicators and the Plimsole Line was created to ensure that all could see if a ship was at full capacity but not overloaded wherever the season or where ever they were. The accusations of murderers in Parliament was because many MPs were ship owners and it became a profitable racket.
Today huge profits are still being made on policies that create incentives for others to act in ways that push toward goals set for financial or other rewards. Thresholds to take children into care, targets for adoption, stopping contact to save money, payments made for “services” to name but a few. Unless the financial rewards are stopped there will not be the incentive to make changes that really will benefit families.
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