As women continue to try to find the right work-life balance, a high-flying businesswoman and one time senior adviser to Hillary Clinton has sparked a national debate in America over whether or not women can really have it all.Once a staunch feminist, Anne-Marie Slaughter has come to the conclusion that trying to have a full-time career and be a carer at the same time is not possible.
Her views have caused a furore in America, with many women, some staunch feminists, accusing Anne-Marie of being short sighted and having an overly presumptuous take on what makes women happy.
Here at Researching Reform, we agree wholeheartedly with Ms Slaughter. Whilst the fact remains that many women must work and look after their children and should be commended for doing so, we cannot ignore the reality of the conventional work life on families. However, women are starting to find better ways of working and caring. To combat the dreaded fall out from the work-life balance, women in Poland have taken the matter into their own hands and are creating jobs which are family friendly, for themselves.
But what do you think? Can women really have it all, do they know what they want and does someone inevitably always lose out in the work-life balance? Have your say on our poll!
Motherhood – the best profession in humanity
“Paradise lies under the feet of a mother”
A woman named Emily renewing her driver’s license at the Transport office
was asked by the clerk to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain as how to classify herself.
“What I mean is,” explained the clerk, “do you have a job, or are you just a housewife/mum?
“Of course I have a job,” snapped Emily. “I’m a Mum.”
“We don’t list ‘Mum’ as an occupation…… ‘housewife’ covers it,” said the clerk emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our local police station.
The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of
a high sounding title like, “Official Interrogator” or “Town Registrar.”
“What is your occupation?” she probed.
What made me say it, I do not know… The words simply popped out.
“I’m a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations.”
The clerk paused, pen frozen in midair, and looked up as though she had not heard right.
I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing the most significant words.
Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on
the official questionnaire!
“Might I ask,” said the clerk with new interest, “just what you do in your field?”
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply,
“I have a continuing programme of research, (which mother doesn’t),
in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out).
I’m working for my Masters, (the whole bloody family), and already have four credits, (all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree.?)
and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).
But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and
the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.”
There was an increasing note of respect in the girl’s voice as she
completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
When I got home, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants — ages 10, 7, and 3.
Upstairs, I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby), in the child-development programme,
testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had triumphed over bureaucracy!
And I had gone on the official records as someone more
distinguished and indispensable to mankind than “just another Mum.”
Motherhood…..What a glorious career! Especially when there’s a title on the door.
Does this make grandmothers “Senior Research Associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations” ,
and great grandmothers “Executive Senior Research Associates”???
I think so!!! I also think it makes Aunts “Associate Research Assistants”.
Be proud to be a mother. As our Prophet (pbuh) has said, “Paradise lies under the feet of a mother”.
I am certainly proud to be a mother and a wife
The truth is I have to agree with this woman based purely on experience.
I was conditioned by the system to believe that women could have it all.
So, I worked full time and raised my children.
No one ever told me that I was doing 2 jobs and working about 18 hours per day but only getting paid for one.
Sadly the truth came to light when I suddenly became ill, worn out from all the work.
I realised the amount of money I was paying out in childcare- so I was giving out what I was taking in for the most part.
I began to question why this propaganda/programming was so intense at trying to convince women that we could have it all and be equal to men.
And that is when the penny dropped.
We were not equal to men because they do not become pregnant,give birth etc.
No one mentioned the exhaustion of pregnancy, birth, recovery etc……with some boasting how they were back at work within hours or days of giving birth.
Women were in fact playing right into the hands of patriarchy- doing all this work, paying in huge amounts of tax, but still only getting paid for 1 job as mothering is a full time job.
When I became ill from over work, then I had a real chance to look around and see and feel the truth.
Ah how mothers were conned into believing the old system was freeing us from the chains of motherhood.
Is motherhood really a chain of bondage still?
I also noted more and more mothers admitting the DEEP PAIN felt on leaving their babies in child care.
In the 1980′s we dare not speak this truth out loud. We were supposed to be free like men and so we were to switch off all maternal human feelings.
In doing so our children often suffered- for our fear of pain often resulted in our failure to bond fully with them. In fact we were already bonded for 40 weeks and now suddenly we were cutting them off. It might be subconsciously for some mothers, but the truth is it happens and our babies- our very own creations felt and feel it.
So why should we wonder when young adults of today self abandon.?
Ah yes, we were conned through patriarchal programming to believe we were being freed when in fact we were being more enslaved than ever.
We can lie to ourselves all we want, but the truth is women have been the expected work horses of society for 5,000 years now exactly.
Society as a whole has suffered. Mothers expected to do 2 roles and only get paid for 1.
Society still wants men to keep women under their control in marriage and if the mother is single- poor- because she is paid less anyway- then the state becomes her husband with total control.
As a society we are still removing children from poor mothers and blaming them for their poverty, yet we are exhausting them deliberately – very subtly – under the guise of freedom feminism.
Feminism was infiltrated by patriarchy and women are expected to men- that is half themselves – fe+males expected to become males and only use the male energy- money, competition,war,etc.
This imbalance of male energy on our planet has us in the situation we are in right now.
Male energy is worth £££££, male roles are valued but female roles are not.
Mothering is still expected to be done for free. it is valueless. It creates no profit.
Profit is only from childcare and that role is filled by low paid workers.
That also tells the Universe how little we value children too.
But that is no surprise as we still sell children on a daily basis.
I also notice how mothers and children always slotted into the same pigeon hole, with the same worth and value.
Now the scales has tipped and older mothers like myself who have experienced this so called having it all, must come out and say, NO, it was all conditioning , all to believe the lie, work ourselves to death, feed the money monster and cut out the Love bond with our children. if they do not know the feeling of love, then it is not passed on to their children and sad to say, that was the plan of the programmers all along.
I researched to find the programmers and I invite others to do the same.
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